The long road that ended with the best miracle

I spent 4 weeks in the hospital on strict bed rest. I was only allowed to get out of bed to go to the restroom. It was one of the hardest thing I have had to do. My family would come down and visit me everyday and bring me a treat or a magazine to read. My sanity was tested daily. I think that if I didn't have the nurses that I did that I wouldn't have done so well. We referred to my room as more of a jail cell then a hospital room. After the first week one of my doctors decided that it would be best if I went for daily wheelchair rides and went outside once a week. My first visit outside was amazing. It made me appreciate the simple things in life. I loved how the sun felt on my legs and how great the fresh air smelled. I could have sat out in the sun for hours.
Every week I went to a Fetal Medicine appointment where they measured the amount of amniotic fluid I had and monitored the baby. Every day we would monitor the baby in the morning and the evening. I had my blood drawn damn near every morning. I found out how crappy my veins were. When they found a good vein they would take blood from it about 8 times before it would blow. My days were filled with doctors and nurses coming and going. Every morning the doctors would stop by and check on me. I had weekly visits from social work, dietitians, physical therapy, child and family life, and a few others that I can't remember at this time.
I felt so unprepared for everything. I hadn't been able to put together my babies nursery or get anything ready. There was a lot of unknown that I was facing. I had one social worker who understood this and made sure I was prepared for anything. I took tours of the NICU and saw babies that were perfectly healthy and were there to grow, I also saw babies that were not healthy and fighting to live. It was heart breaking at times. But it prepared me for things to come. I was able to see what a ventilator looked like, how the feeding tubes worked and how they did IVs on such tiny babies. My social worker would let me sit and talk to the babies and just take it in.
I went into labor several times a week. Sometimes I ended up in Labor & Delivery and other times I stayed in my room. It just depended on how my contractions went. I would make goals some times they were just to make it to tomorrow. I love the show Greys Anatomy, one of my goals was to make it to Thursday so I could watch it. Sometimes my goals were to make it until a certain nurse worked. It helped time go by.
My very best friend Kami would come visit me every week and bring lunch from different yummy places around town. A few times she got to hang out with me in L&D. I think she learned the hospital pretty well.
Closer to the end of my pregnancy I was done. I remember telling my doctor that I was done. My body hurt.
I knew it was time on Friday night. I started to feel horrible. By Saturday my stomach was sore to the point that I couldn't have a sheet on me or even my gown. I was miserable and knew something wasn't right. My nurse came in at one point and knew it was time. They did some blood work and my white count was raised. I had started to get an infection. They induced me at 3 am Sunday morning.
I waited until I was completely hooked up and we knew it was for real before calling James and my parents. James had to drive 13+ hours to get to me. My mom came down and was with me until James arrived that night.
Every contraction was horrific because of the pain I had in my stomach. Things were better after I got my epidural. I slept on and off all day. One thing I remember about that day was how we described James to the nurses. We let them know that my husband was on his way and was a panicked grizzly bear. When he finally arrived they didn't even question who he was!
My nurse the evening before I had my sweet boy was the same nurse that helped me the first night I was there. She remembered who I was.
My sweet boy was delivered the next morning at 10:18am. He weighed 4 lbs 15 oz and was 18 inches long.
He came out and made a little noise and was placed on my belly while James cut the cord. He was quickly taken away to be attended to by the NICU staff. He had to be resuscitated and then put on a ventilator to help him breath.
I was taken back to my room and James was shown to the NICU to be with our little boy. Our family came down to see us all afternoon. I wasn't able to go see my little boy until that night. It is a very hard thing to not be able to see your baby. Everyone had been able to see him but me. I struggled emotionally after having him. I just wanted to be with him. Once I was able to be in the NICU with him I spent my days there.
He had his ventilator for only 2 days! That was the best thing to come into see him and the ventilator be gone. He had his ups and downs in the weeks that he was in the NICU.
I stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks before moving to a guest house. I was incredibly hard for me to leave the hospital even just to go grab food. I also did not have very much strength. After spending a month in bed my muscles were gone and I wore out fast. It took everything out of me to walk from my room to the NICU. The first week, maybe longer, I walked with a wheelchair so I had somewhere to sit. Once I moved into the guest house I would walk over every morning and spend the entire day in the NICU. I only left when Turkey and my mom came to visit. I spent one night away at my folks house and cried the entire time.
For our little boy to come home he had to be able to eat every 3 hrs without struggling and without drops on his oxygen. He was a big fan of freaking us out, he would start eating then forget to breath. That was some of my scariest moments. I would be feeding him and look up and his stats dropping and he would go limp. Once he made it 7 days from the last apnea moment he could come home as long as he passed everything else.
The day they told me he might be coming home I had some massive panic attacks. Was I ready to bring home my tiny baby? What if something happened? The hospital was my bubble and safe zone. Leaving was scary.
My mom dropped Turkey off at school that morning and came down and we spent 3 hours shopping for everything we needed to bring him home. Everything I had for him was at my house 13+ hours away. We had to by a special car seat that was made for a baby that was small. The nurses were sweet and gave me a list of things we might need.
The day he came home was unreal. It felt like a dream. I dressed him in a super tiny three piece outfit. It was baby blue with a striped onesie and a baby blue jacket. We got him loaded into the car and never looked back.
We made it probably 15 minutes away when his oxygen levels tanked. My mom had to pull over and we made some adjustments and waited to see if we had to go back. That was the only time on that drive we had an issue.
Once we were at my moms the home health company met us there and set us up with 2 different machines and oxygen tanks.
He had weekly and sometimes twice a week appointments with the peds doctor to make sure he was growing and healthy.
He is my little fighter and miracle baby.